When I look back at the time I spent in Cambodia last fall, I find myself continually attempting to find some sort of peace and understanding from the harsh facts that presented themselves. I naively went into this trip thinking "how can I help Cambodia? How can I make a difference?" I was hit with a brutal reality when we spent time touring Tuol Sleng (one of the mass graves from the 1970s genocide), S-21 Prison (one of the torture prisons), and the village of a local Cambodian that is still reeling from the bombings. After these experiences, and then days of watching amazing people, who are my age, telling me their horror stories about their parents' deaths and the luck by which they survived, I felt emotionally exhausted. How in the world did I miss it? How, when I continually try to view the world as a slate in which to learn by did I miss the Cambodian genocide? 40% of their entire population was wiped out...an entire generation...The devastation would have caused America to crumble..I'm sure of it. Here we have a country that should be up and coming technologically and economically, still living as a third world country. An entire generation of educated people were wiped out by the Khmer Rouge and our American schools do not even bother to add the evidence into our history text books. So, I took my emotional exhaustion and sadness and started asking questions. During the remainder of our trip I spent time talking with the locals and hearing their stories. I was amazed at how they would smile their big beautiful smiles while telling me their own tragic stories and I realized that here they are...trying to PROTECT ME from their horror. All they asked was for a few minutes to practice their English, explain their reality, and assure me (with their smiles) that they are ok...they just want us to come back and love their country.
I cannot wait to return!! Of all the places I have traveled and done mission work, Cambodia has somehow reached into my heart, into a place deeper than I knew even existed. I cannot wait to follow my husband and the Barrons back to Cambodia this fall. The difference will be, my approach...I will not be traveling over there to see how I can help this country, but instead will begin the journey by keeping my heart and mind open to learning from the people. Then, I will take this privilege of knowledge and return once again to America with the hopes of helping us love and understand Cambodia in a way that historical textbooks never would have accomplished.
Tiffany Atkinson
